What if?

Oki so the other day I had a dinner with my friend.. she gave me some ideas to what I’m gonna write in my blog.. well I been thinking about it.. and here it is.

I was born in Manila that’s in the Philippines in Asia. I’m one of 13 kids witch including 7 kids from my dad and 2 from mom plus 3 step siblings from my step dad. I’m 1 of 4 girls.

My mom got remarried in 1989 and I was 4 (I think I was 4) I have always been close to my family in my moms side, I’m the baby in the family (if you don’t count the new ones) and I’m also her only daughter.  I’m the middle child from her kids. I have two brothers one who’s a year older than me and a younger brother who is 7 years younger than me. My parents was married for 15 years before they split.

When I was 13 I started to experience weed and alcohol and other stuff. My relationship with my mom became really bad, I was always out pass my cerfue hanging with bad people. At 14 I moved out from my home to live with my friend. My relationship with my mom  was so bad that I started to brake windows and doors and anything that I could brake sometime I would just hit my fist through the wall.

When I was 16 I found out my biological father was alive. Me and my brother was told that he was dead since we where tiny, I got so upset and angry at my mom for lying to us about our dad. Same time I found out my mom was diagnosed with cancer in her intestine. She never told me about it, I figure it out by myself when I was doing the laundry. When I found out about it I couldn’t breathe or understand what happened, for the first time I feelt empty inside.. started to back out from my friends stayed at home and just lock myself inside. My family back home was very scared of what could have happened.. I was scared that I would become an orphan.. my brother was just a few months before he would turn 18, he would be the only one taking care of me and our baby brother would be with his dad, he was only 9 back then. I often think what if.. what if my mom wouldn’t be alive today? Where would I be? Who would I become?

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